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She Will Find Him

Isaiah 58:11 (NIV)

The Lord will guide you always; 

        he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land 

        and will strengthen your frame. 

You will be like a well watered garden, 

        like a spring whose water never fail.

As I read this scripture I am going to tell a story; she was looking for the one thing only the Lord could give her. She finds the strength she needs by finding unconditional love of her 3 children and a man the Lord brought into her life.

The Lord will guide you always;

She was young on the inside she always had so much turmoil. She always looked up to the only man she knew in her life for reassurance; her father. Whenever she thought she was on the verge of winning favor the little confidence she did have it was taken away. Apparently it was felt taking away confidence in a young eager to please child was a way to build character.

One day she would become a mom. She would  work hard to be a mom who builds character and not tear down. But what she didn’t realize was she wouldn’t be alone raising her three children; a very precocious eight year old would introduce Christ to her and her sons. By following her daughter’s lead she would learn to allow the Lord to guide her in life.

He will satisfy your needs in the sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.

Tired and emotionally exhausted; every muscle ached, she had no where else to draw strength; three little ones looked so lovingly in her eyes eager to have some undivided attention. In this moment she drifts away dreaming of a time there would be another in her life; someone who was strong and would be an example to her children of what unconditional love really means. 

She was alone, no faith and her trust account was empty. Anyone she would or could turn to found one way or another to hurt her. When she looked into her she daughter’s hazel eyes; she would pray for the day she would be a strong young woman; she would find the true meaning of love. Her mom couldn’t teach her afterall, what did she know of love. She was broken; she would work day and night to provide to the point at times she would feel like the sun-scorched land. 

She would be saved, she learned to become the strong woman her children could look up to and be proud to call mom. The Lord knew she was tired; she knew the only place to draw strength from was the Lord. He was able to give her new life with this new found relationship. Now she remembers even though she is tired the Lord has given her renewed strength to rise above and trust him.

You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose water never fails.

As she continues to grow and walk in her faith; she reflects on the moment she is reminded that no matter the luggage life has brought her;  in her heart she loves her children and strives to be the best mother to those 3 little ones.

At the time she doesn’t realize God would introduce her to a man who would walk with her in her relationship with Christ and join her in raising her 3 little ones. He developed an unconditional love for her along with her children. He would become this example of what love looks like; through the good and bad. He would be the example to her sons on what love should look like for the day when they would decide to marry.  He would build character in her children; teach them the bible along with history. So on those long strenuous days he would build her up and pick up the slack. He eventually becomes a second rock in her life. He leads by example, reminds her of how important she is not only in his life but in the life of 3 little children.  The Lord allowed him to bring life back into her, finally she learned about true love.

No matter the road she was on, she allowed God to guide her. He made her stronger by satisfying her needs. As she continues to satisfy her thirst for the word of the Lord she will continue to be awakened and grow like the garden.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)

Though one may be overpowered,

  Two can defend themselves.

A cord of  three strands is not quickly broken.

Hands wrapped by a piece of cloth reminds us as long as they are walking with Christ hand in hand no man can separate.

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Pulling Weeds

One day I was sitting in Village Inn waiting for my car to get serviced at Wal-Mart, the condition set by Chris if I wanted to go to Lansing to see my father.

I was alone, and I just started writing. I always knew what the title of my next blog would be and the subject matter I just didn’t know the direction I was going to have it go in. So here it is.

Every parent has a goal for their children. Here are some of my goals:

  1. Having a relationship with Christ
  2. Falling in Love
  3. Know unconditional love
  4. Enjoying making memories
  5. Have a full and successful life

As parents we can help our children attain some of these goals. The one goal I am focusing on is making memories. Our children have childhood memories these memories can be good ones and bad ones.

I know growing up in a home with multiple children each child will have different memories of how they view the way they grew up. This especially happens when there is a generation gap.

In 2007 my mother passed away from a glioblastoma brain tumor. Having someone close you go through this isn’t easy, she put up a fight and I know in my heart she did this for our family.

Our relationship wasn’t always roses, we were after all, mother/daughter. There was nothing I wanted more was for my mother to just love me for who I was, everything I believed I did  to please her.

In the final days before she died, she told me I would be fine. I know she loved me, there was never a time she wouldn’t tell me she loved me even in a heated moment of anger or should I say disappointment, she would say “I love you, bye” not once did she hang up the phone without telling me she loved me. She told me she did this because if she died tomorrow there would be no doubt that she loved me.

But, it doesn’t change the negative-I remember the tantrums me storming out of the house not understanding why she didn’t like me, what did I ever do to be treated so badly I didn’t get it, these memories flooded my mind. Then I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter how mom was so loving, understanding and supportive.  Before she passed away she asked me what my favorite memory was, I explained it was the night I fell asleep on the living room floor and she laid next to me; wrapped her arm around me feeling Erikah kick. This memory resounds through my mind often; I hold onto this memory because I choose to remember the loving moments in my relationship with mom.

When I think of my mother I also remember how she drilled into my head, “Bad association spoils useful habits.” this is a scripture 1 Corinthians 15:33(NWT) Do not be misled. Bad association spoils useful habits. She always wanted better for me, I didn’t understand this I was a teenager seeking guidance and direction. I saw how strong my mother was when faced with adversity. Then I remember, Proverbs 31:25 (NIV) She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

I didn’t always agree with my mother; however she was my mother and I respected her as my mother. I loved her the best way I knew how. I want to focus on the good memories so I can be free and enjoy those memories. I am working hard on pulling the weeds; the negative memories so I can focus on the good.

My children will have good memories and bad ones as well. My prayer for them is to one day realize I am human afterall, I did falter and fail often but, I did my best to raise them to become the individuals they are today. I pray one day they will reflect and decide to pull  the weeds, focus on the good times.